Most of my blogposts are all about my son Kris but today is different. This particular post is dedicated to my beautiful wife. Tomorrow is her birthday but I already gave her a very simple gift that really comes from our hearts. Its been almost 8 years since I met my wife and from that moment I knew that she was the one. I did almost everything just to get her number and when I finally got her number thats when FATE played its important role. She actually declined my facebook invites 2 or 3 times hahahahaha but I never gaved up because I knew that she was the girl that I want to marry with.
Lets fast forward to 7/8 years and into the present day. Yes tomorrow will be her birthday. I dont know what to prepare for her, I dont know how to bake a cake and I dont have any money to take her to a restaurant, I just paid all the bills and now I am broke hehehehe. Well as long as we are healthy, I am not complaining.
I just want to let her know how much I love her! I know from time to time I have hurt your feelings and for that I am truly sorry. I may not be the perfect husband but one thing I know is that I will never leave you no matter what YOU ARE STUCK WITH ME for a lifetime lol…….. Tomorrow its your birthday you are getting older girl! hehehehe
Always remember that you have 3 boys that loves you very much ME,LHORD and KRIS 🙂
I can’t remember when was the last time I’ve written a blog post. I was really busy living day-to-day family life 🙂 I do not know what to write about. I guess this blog will be more of a questioning myself whether I have made a right decision or not. Kris started to sleep over into this place where they take care of kids with the same situation with my son. Kris will be sleeping over in total 4 days every month and we don’t have to pay anything.
Everytime Kris is in there, I feel like a part of me is gone. The house is empty without Kris. We all miss his singing!!! Am I selfish for letting him sleep in there? I really feel bad for accepting this offer, feels like I am letting him down. I know his in good hands and the people working in there are professionals but still!
Am I doing the right thing? I don’t want my son will be mad at us for letting him sleep there. Right now I am not sure if it is a positive or negative thing that he is sleeping there 4 days each month. He is still 4 years old, he probably don’t understand why he is sleeping there and not at home. It is really hard for us and for me. I know that he is expecting us to pick him up at school everyday and just by thinking of it bothers me a lot. I know we will see him again tomorrow and it’s just 4 days in a month that he is there.
There are a couple of reasons why we are doing or agreed to do this.
- Is to have more time with his brother, most of our time only focus to Kris and we often forget his older brother. We want to be fair to both of them.
- Is to have more time with ourselves 🙂 It is also important for us to relax, charge our strength and do nothing or do some household chores undisturbed.
- To prepare Kris be independent. Kris is very dependent and attach to us. We have to do this because we cannot be there for him every time he needs us.
But tomorrow I will be seeing my lion cub named Kris hehehehe 🙂
Oh my god! I don’t know how am I going to sleep tonight. Kris will be sleeping over at the center where professional people will watch over him for us. This center only specializes on helping families relieve some stress on their busy days. This kind of help only be given to families who has a child with special needs that needed extra attention. Most of these families have no time to relax and no time for themselves. This center is for free and Kris will be sleeping over there 4 days in a month. There are also other kids that are in that center. So they have to plan well on which kid that is sleeping over on that specific day so that they have enough people working 24 hours a day.
It is very hard for us as a parent to do this because this would be the first time Kris will be sleeping in other place, except that time when he was with his grandma for 1 week because his school was closed and we have to work. I really don’t know how Kris will react today on his first night. We have been visiting this place just to let Kris be familiar with the place and it went really well. There is a lot of going on these couple of days, his school and us agreed that we have to let go of the diaper. We should do it together so that Kris will not be confused. There are some accidents but he is really getting it now that he have to do it in the toilet and not on his underwear.
I am going to miss him huhuhuhu but we will see each other again tomorrow. We will pick him up at his school tomorrow. We know that Kris is very dependent on us and one of the reason we agreed about him sleeping over at the center is to prepare him when he gets old. To prepare him to be independent because not all the time we will be there to help him or assist him. The main reason is to have more time with his big brother and to ourselves. Most of our time focus only to Kris and often we forget about his brother. I think his brother understands why we have to give Kris more attention than him.
I am really sad right now and I keep on thinking tonight, if Kris can sleep well 😦 or we can sleep well without him by our side. Every single night Kris is sleeping beside me and tonight that side will be empty. I talked to his teacher this morning when I delivered him at his school. She understands that it is hard for the first time but it will be alright, professional people will be there to watch him. I miss this little guy already 😦
When I stumbled upon this quote a couple of days ago, it really made me realized that my son was the one who changed me in a good way. I admit when my son was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago. I was really scared that he will not be the same as the normal kids in his school and that we have to help him to be like them. I was too busy searching “trying” on what kind of activities we have to do together with Kris so that he will be normal. I didn’t imagined that we were doing those things not for the sake of our son but for our sake as a parents. Instead of listening or understanding his body language, the sounds he have been making and the songs hes been singing, we were too focus on giving him orders. We were to busy on making teaching him how to be normal that we did not realized that it is ok to be “NOT” normal.
To make this story short:…..
Time passes by, we now have more knowledge on our sons autism. I know in order to help him I have to be in his world of autism. My sons autism teach me how to be open minded on everything. I can now see the signs he have been using to communicate to us, not like before. Understand first before you judge “people who are invisibly autistic are more disabled than people think”.
We thought that we will change him to be normal without realizing that hes the one whos going to change us for good. Now I know that it is ok that Kris is different and I should not teach him to be like any other normal kids. He should be himself, do what he wants to do. He can sing all day that is ok. As for the moment he is singing hickory dickory all day hahahaha we will see what will be the song of the week next week.
This blog I will be talking about my everyday life as a father to my 2 boys and as a husband to my wife. But first don’t mind my grammatical error I am not really good at it at school hehehehehe….
My day starts at 6AM, prepare myself before going to work and afterwards I prepare the packed lunch for the boys. But my morning is not complete without a cup of coffee and of course YOUTUBE just to update myself on what is “trending”. Then I deliver Kris at his school at 7AM and his older brother starts a bit late 2 hours later. We have to deliver Kris early every morning if me and my wife starts early at work. If one of us is starting late then we deliver Kris around 9AM at his school. Every week is a struggle for us just to adjust our working schedule, who’s delivering and picking up Kris at his school. I cannot imagine a single parent taking care of his kids with a fulltime job to keep, it must be very very stressful. I am thankful that I have my wife with me helping the best she can.
After I delivered Kris at his school I have 3 to 4 minutes to catch my bus, if I miss that bus I will be late at work very late. I have to travel almost 1 hour to work because of the traffic. I go to my workplace, work for 8 hours everyday Monday to Friday. Then I go straight to the school to pick up Kris after work or my wife will pick him up if she finishes early at work. The older brother of Kris just walk from school to our home its just 10 minutes walk from our house into his school.
Then I prepare our dinner sometimes my wife prepares dinner if I am working late, usually I am the one cooking at home. Around 7PM, Kris should be ready to bed. We give him his Melatonin after 30 to 40 minutes he falls asleep. When Kris is asleep, that is the time that I or we can relax. I feel bad about his older brother that I don’t have so much time with him but I try my best to play games together with him. He understand, my wife always explain to him that Kris needs more attention because he is just small and he has special needs. I also feel bad that I don’t have time with my wife and I just wish we don’t have to work too much so that we can have time together. On the other hand we have to work to pay our bills.
I just wish I have more energy at the end of the day to spend more time with my family when Kris is asleep. All my energy are drained up after a long day. On the weekends we try to spend as much time with each other, sometimes my wife is working on the weekends then I am left alone with the kids.
This is my everyday life as a father!
As a husband to my wife, I just wish we can have more quality time just the two of us. We are busy working we forget about each other. I know my wife understands it and I am very thankful that she is always with me. One thing I know that I love my 2 boys and I love my wife.
Yesterday was very stressful day for us. Another meeting with the school and his doctor. There were 7 people who attended this meeting, 9 in total including me and my wife. Every 3 months, we have this kind of meeting to evaluate and make some assessment or plans on how to help Kris. We are very thankful for the services that my son Kris have received from the Norwegian government. They are really trying their best to help my son and us to make our day-to-day life a lot easier. We have discussed about Kris’s development, how was his sleeping and eating. We were on a holiday for a month and I told them that Kris sleeping time varies from night to-night. We’re on a holiday we don’t want to wake up early or sleep early. I know sleeping routine is very
important, but we just want to have more time with Kris before he starts at his school.
His assistant at his school also told us in the meeting what Kris have been doing, they also told us that they used pictures to communicate with Kris. Kris is getting good at listening and following the task he have to complete. We are very lucky and thankful that Kris has a huge support system at his school. They also informed us that there are 3 people who are working or assigned to Kris everyday just to help him and teach him with the communication, social and language skills.
We have agreed on what kind of assessment or plans in the next 3 months. We will try to get rid of his diaper, visit an elementary school nearby after a year Kris will start at elementary school. We have to be prepared by this, we will also invite the principal of that school to join us on the next meeting, just to give us some information. I have been thinking about Kris starting in the elementary school for a couple of years now. Children nowadays grow up really fast 😦
The last and the most important thing was that, they have offered us that they can watch/babysit over Kris maybe 2 or 3 days per week after his school for a couple of hours for FREE so that we can relax and relieve some stress from us. We have visited already twice this place, they have good staff working in there so Kris is in good hands. But I am not sure if I can survive that Kris will be sleeping over there. I cannot sleep if Kris is not sleeping beside me 😦 I guess I just want to make sure that he is okay and safe.
Again we are grateful for all the help that Kris have received from the support system and his school. It is overwhelming to see how many people who are attending on every assessment meeting we have in his school. Just glad to know that we are not alone with this and that there are professional people on our back helping us making our day a lot easier for Kris and for us.
Oh my god!!! Summer holiday is over and back to reality…work – home – work – home.
Its been a while, over a month I think since I wrote my last blog. I just want relax do nothing during my holiday, spent some time with my family. Last Sunday we went to the me, my wife and Kris. We knew Kris is struggling going inside the church because of the sounds. Kris is really sensitive when it comes to sounds, I feel really bad when we go out because Kris always cover his ears. Kids with autism if I not mistaken 100% of them have this issue. We are thinking of buying him an earmuffs or headphones to cancel all of the noises/sounds that Kris is sensitive of.
When we went inside the church last Sunday, Kris was really scared he don’t want to go in. He was covering his ears, he was singing really loud. I was really sad to see Kris like that. I knew he was struggling and scared. We went in and 2-3 minutes after we went out again. I have to do this steps over and over again just to help him get used or be familiar with the noises. He really hates the sound of pipe organ, I don’t know what the name of that instrument they use at the church hehehehehe.
The first 10 minutes was very difficult for him and I don’t want to disturbed the mass either. I tried to give him my phone just to distract him because he was singing really loud. People are looking at us with bad looks, you can tell what they are thinking just by looking at them “just go out with your child and don’t disturb the mass”….But we stayed inside the church. Finally Kris started to play with his phone but he still cover his ears at least he calmed down and was not afraid anymore.
Really hard for me to watch Kris struggling like that, I want to help him and I want him to enjoy but that’s just the way it is.
We finally did it !
We fully finishes the whole sunday mass, success!!!